thank you for being here

I have been an artist since as long as I can remember. My father gave me the gift of his love of music -- Sunday mornings were for the Beatles, Stevie Wonder, Led Zeppelin and breakfast burritos. I learned the power of music early on, the way that it can create a main line to our emotions -- how my father would be brought to tears or full throated joy by a song. It was (and still is) such medicine for him, and he showed me how to let it move through me. 

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I was also an extremely anxious child. Highly sensitive, possibly neurodivergent, overly emotional, painfully self-aware. In addition to the various traumas I experienced at a young age, I spent most of my time hiding, shrinking, hoping to go unnoticed, but always noticed because I was always crying. I felt mostly frozen, disembodied and disassociated for the better part of my childhood.

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Except when I sang. When I sang, in the shower or my bedroom, I would fall to my knees, surrendered to this energy moving through me. My body would open and song would flow through. I could feel my full power in these moments. I could feel God in these moments. 

 

All of this is to say I grew up with intimate knowledge of both what it felt like to be a) completely disembodied, outside of my body, locked in a trauma state and b) deeply embodied - fully present with breath, sensation, and movement. I felt my body as a vessel for expression and knew how to be moved by something bigger than me.

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Knowing both is how I came to be who I am today. 

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Fast forward - past the self-harm, the addictions, the abandonment of my music dreams, the dark night of the soul, the therapy, the obsessive and intrusive thoughts, the yoga, the MFA in creative writing, falling in love, moving away from my family, the various careers in education, the effects of capitalism, patriarchy, racism, all the things in this world that desperately try to divorce us from our bodies - to the moment I began to hear the deep and mysterious call of my body.

This was a call towards a different way of living - outside of my head - deep in my senses, deeply inside of myself, where I had touched that power within before. It was in my skin. In my blood. In my womb. In my bones. A song that said "come home, come home." 

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I found the Deep Body Institute in Oakland that taught movement and transformative embodiment, and signed up for several programs. A deep remembrance reverberated in my being as I learned how to - for the first time - BE in my body and STAY in my body. 

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All the emotions that I had stifled and repressed - causing anxiety, addiction, suffering - finally had space to come out. And clearing out these traumas and blockages opened up the valve on my creativity. My music began to flow through me again. I began to be who I really was and always had been. 

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To my surprise, I completed a facilitator training to become a Deep Body Practitioner because I was so fascinated by what happened when I was guided into my body in this way. But I never actually expected a career in embodiment. 

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And here I am - now guiding people along the same axis I know so well - from disembodiment to embodiment. From frozenness to flow. From hiding to full expression. 

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I hope to share this journey with you.

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